Jasper Wheelie was born in a bin
in Stockholm in 1583. He spent the first 74 years of his life living
with Mermaids and consequently lives entirely on a diet of sand
and paint. He likes to take long walks in the woods reading poetry
and devotes much of his time to the care of orphaned earth-worms.
He has an uncanny sense of smell and can track Belhaven Brewery
lorries from a distance of up to 17 miles!
Before joining the Bunky Freeks he was in the service of the
Sultan of Brunei working as an orangutan in the Royal menagerie.
His keeper managed to communicate with him using sign language
and, eventually, French, which he learned from the Gorilla in
the cage next door. Using his phenomenal language skills he was
able to tell his keeper when he was hungry, when he needed his
nappy changed and which of the Lemurs had taken his Fiat Panda
down to the garage for fags on Saturday night.
Jasper's vocal style has often been blamed on his primate days
but he conditions his vocal cords daily with a constant supply