Welcome to the

Totalitarian Despotate of Freektopia!

Click on the coat of arms for more information!

Some Quick Freektopian Facts!

The currency of Freektopia is the Freektopian Scroat. One Scroat is divided into 27 Fecks and each Feck is further divided into 103 Nibblings. This system is further complicated by the fact that most Freektopians can't count and have no concept of money so a very strong barter economy has developed, centring mostly around cup hooks.
The flag of Freektopia has 3 stripes representing three of the four Despots. The flag was inaugurated on a day when the three Despots represented took the opportunity to play a joke on their fellow Despot while he was in the toilet. When he came back, the flag had already been accepted and there was nothing he could do about it! My how they laughed.....
No one is entirely sure what the population of Freektopia actually is at any given time. The Freektopians are particularly fertile and frisky so the birth rate is staggeringly high. This is balanced, however, by the most appalling levels of heart attacks (due to aforesaid fertility and friskyness) which makes the average lifespan of a Freektopian adult about 31 years. Scientists are currently trying to isolate the so called "randy" gene in an effort to develop an alternative to monkey glands and viagra. Current estimates put the population of Freektopia between 12 and 1,759,245.
The official language of Freektopia is Toastedchese. This ancient language is quite unlike any other in that it is not written down, nor does it have any grammar, vocabulary or rules whatsoever. In fact, it's defining characteristics are it's complete spontanaety and the fact that it is completely unintelligible to anyone. It is basically a series of randomly generated word sounds put together into "sentences". Even the Freektopians have lost the ability to understand it and for this reason it is only used in official ceremonies, documents or on Bunky Freeks posters. Gargly Wargly Krip Stink! Sham nuffguddle!
All religions are tolerated in Freektopia. The official religion is called "Lkashriueqjrbifcb" and involves the worship of a small field mouse called Elvis. Various saints days are also celebrated as holidays. The most notable of thes include St. Chinmess the patron saint of super noodles, St Beltanbraces the patron saint of latex and lubricants and, of course, St Andgreavsie, the patron saint of Luminous drummers.
Politics is forbidden in Freektopia. It was long ago realised that no-one could trust anyone who actually wanted to be a politician so they were abolished. It really made no difference as, being a Totalitarian Despotate, political preferences are really not worth the bother!