Overview of Freektopia

Freektopia is an ancient and historic country. Situated (we think) somewhere in Eastern Scandinavia, it has successfully managed to hide from various conquering empires over the millenia by virtue of it's location high in the mountains. Indeed, it is so remote and inaccessible that no-one has ever managed to pin point it on a map. It is consequently very difficult to find, even by the inhabitants! Freektopians have been known to go on holiday and then to spend several years trying to get home again. It is a strange and beautiful land, with an ancient culture and many fine traditions, unique food, wonderful beer and great music. It is also the homeland of the Bunky Freeks, indeed they are the current incumbents of the quadruple title of Despot, ruling their ancient country with a flagrant disregard for their own people. This may seem cruel and selfish but it is the way of things in Freektopia and has been a good working system for thousands of years.

Long live the Despots! Marvyfabdudemandig!

Some Information

Coat of Arms

The coat of arms of Freektopia is an ancient and mystical badge. Central to it is the 4 coloured shield of the quadruple Despotate, still to this day used to beat ne'er-do-wells and carry sausages out to the barbeque. This is flanked by the "Wombles Rampant", the ancient creatures of the Freektopian forests. These almost mythical animals are crucial to the prosperity of our country. Rarely seen, they womble up the rubbish and put it in the bin. A small colony was spotted some years ago in Wimbledon but it has been proven that these were in fact the more common British womble, a possible sub-species of the Freektopian Womble, their ancient cousins. The motto at the bottom is central to Freektopian life and can often be heard chanted at National Sporting events and was at one time used as a rallying cry when the army of Freektopia swept across the bare mountain passes around their country in search of.... well.... anything really (especially the way home!). It was from this motto that the Bunky Freeks took their name and set out upon world domination!

 

History

The history of Freektopia is long and chequered. There are many legends about how this unique and beautiful nation was founded. Some say it was created from the discarded remains of a giant's kebab, others that it emerged from the arse of the now extinct mega-womble (womblemungus orificeania) and some maniacs have even suggested some mumbo jumbo about the movement of techtonic plates and volcanic eruptions but that's obviously horse jobbies. What we do know is that the "nation" of Freektopia as it is today came into being somewhere around the 3rd century BC after a particularly nasty war between the fledgling nations of Covonia and Amnesia. The exact cause of the war is unknown but legend has it that the daughter of the chief of Amnesia was due to marry the son of the chief of Covonia. However, she forgot and the groom was left to cook his own tea that night. After he burnt the cake that he was trying to make he became enraged and threw it across the border, killing a goat which belonged to the chief. The chief demanded an apology for this but was shown a bare arse instead. War was declared and pursued relentlessly until the only people left alive were four families who lived so far up in the mountains that it took them six months to realise that everyone else was dead! Consequently, each family elected one person to govern what was left of the two countries and the Quadruple rule of Freektopia was begun. Over the next few years, the country became a haven for idiots who were not wanted in their own countries and the population grew once more. Due to the incomprehensible stupidity of most of the inhabitants, it was declared a Totalitarian Despotate in 69AD and there has been peace ever since!